Episode 1- Continued – Intro to Love in Your Life
I decided to augment my intro show to get more specific.
My desire is to help and what I understand about the evolution and purpose of life long learning—and I continue of course, down the path of learning, as we all do– is to share with those who may benefit from the lessons that you have taken time to learn…in the hopes, of course, to save them some time in confronting the same or similar setbacks that you have. For me, it is the subject of the “most suited career path” but from the 20+ years working with people, I recognize that it spills over into our personal lives and life in general. In other words, we all want to know that our lives matter, we matter, and that we are living in accordance to a purpose designed uniquely for us. And to be perfectly frank, I took an unscientific poll asking folks, in particular younger folks, what it is they need, what they listen to (podcasts), what they find of interest and they almost always say “self-help.” Perhaps because today our lives are so busy, leaving little time to sit down with a good book, we find that listening to podcasts and books on tape makes practical sense. And when I inquire further, it is clear that they are seeking advice -again, the practical kind that will help them in their day to day lives.
So in my corner of the world, what we do for a living is an area where most of us…especially young people, need validation and encouragement on how to best choose a path that suits them and allows them to be happy and successful. And they–the more youthful, again–especially DO NOT want to work a 60-80 hours a week to be physically spent and have little to no leisure time remaining. They look at their parents and see that they do not want “that!” So in a way, they are clearly more OPEN to advice on how to get their careers RIGHT FOR THEM. Unlike generations before them, they do not want to work FOR MONEY but FOR JOY and JOB SATISFACTION and that is huge!
The other motivator for me personally is that it became painfully clear working with my clients: their questions– why did I not have this information sooner, why did I “waste” time here, and especially why did I fail to believe in myself adequately, etc.. It is that self-blame and disappointment that leads us to the self-esteem issue. That is a hot button for me–my belief is that each of us deserves to be happy and successful because we are worthy of it and deserve to be, do and have what we want for ourselves.
So first, there is a difference between saying to oneself, I am a failure and I have failed here. One is an indictment on self-esteem as words do matter (especially those we tell ourselves) so that calling oneself names injures your self-esteem and the other simply recognizes that you have behaved in a manner inconsistent with your potential…this is a huge difference! Think of it as the NOUN format that assigns a “permanent” label versus the VERB indicative of temporary behavior and action …the latter can be un-done and re-done and the former just reinforces a negative image of oneself that becomes onerous and almost impossible to overcome, especially over time.
We begin by distilling the notion of I can’t and rather restate the challenge as I have not (yet) or even I will not but certainly the idea behind both is that I can change if and when I choose. So beginning there is a very good place to start.
Then comes the awareness that is inevitable in the results of validated assessment instruments that allow one to uncover drivers and motivators behind the personality. And another “behind the scenes ” notion on this one comes from one of my favorite authors, Gary Zukav, who wrote The Seat of the Soul. In this book, he makes a case for the personality becoming one with the soul. Okay, so here we risk getting a bit esoteric on the subject but what he says in plain language is this: We come here, each of us, in an evolutionary journey of the Soul. Our jobs are to find a way to get the personality we are here with “this time” to manifest what the soul, the deepest part of ourselves, wants. To the extent that we do that, we choose the “right people” in our lives, the “right careers,” etc., to help us achieve what we came here to do. Now if that is way out there for you personally, it’s okay. We still have this idea that each of us has a purpose and it is for us to identify what that purpose is so that we can live our best life. Hope that works for everyone listening and if you have questions, please ask them and I will respond.
So far, I hope you get that I will be addressing how it is we can better ensure that we are on the right career path in order to achieve our own version of happiness and success. We have talked about being open to this idea that there is something INTENDED for you, a specific purpose and then setting about gaining an awareness of what that is through some introspective work, perhaps with the assistance of an assessment tool. Now, let me get a bit more clear on what that is. Some listeners may know exactly what those are, may have even taken one or two, others may not have a clue what I am referring to so allow me to briefly explain.
There are questionnaires specifically designed to ask questions and obtain individual responses on a number of items, all of which begin to draw a picture of a person’s needs …some of you have heard of “personality tests (although I dislike that label). Most all of the professional assessment instruments have been put through the rigors of the Psychological Association and been deemed validated and reliable, meaning that they meet the guidelines for measuring what they say they are measuring and that the results will prove consistent over time. Once a report is generated that reflects the totality of your candid responses, a trained professional de-briefs the individual, inviting their validation and engaging them in a discussion of what that might mean for them.
So that is it. It is not a really big deal, except to say that it CAN represent a huge influence on the individual’s future, particularly in light of the variation uncovered between what they were doing and what they COULD BE doing based on what the reports indicate along with their personal validation. It helps clarify and identify what it is that looks like my greatest opportunity to do what I love.
And here is the greatest “side benefit” of this process. During countless de-brief sessions, folks not only come away having gained additional insights about themselves and their unique needs. There is a self-acceptance if not all the way to self-love outcome. And interestingly, a connection is made that if I am unique and deserving of acceptance, OTHERS ARE ALSO WORTHY of acceptance and acknowledment of their uniqueness. Judgment falls away and we wish for all to live lives of authentic truth. If there was a beautiful part of my career in engaging in this type of work, it is this. It’s like we come to an inevitable place of uniting with the rest of humanity in seeing them for their uniqueness and with the understanding that we all deserve to be happy -no matter what –and accepted as we live out our lives and meet our needs.
About the author, Saleh
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