Loss
Having counseled professionals for years in transition due to an involuntary job loss, I find myself with a number of thoughts about the experience. Most people are devastated once they are told the news–some version of the business is going in another direction, redundancy has come into play, the organization needs to make cutbacks. No matter what they are told, most see it as evidence that they are not wanted. What they have to offer is no longer needed, if it ever was.
This got me thinking of how quick we are to use what happens to reinforce a low self-esteem, to question our value. This contrasts with how we feel uncomfortable when we are complimented. We question the veracity of the compliment, we don’t believe it, therfore are embarrassed by it. Why is it so easy for us to feel loss and questionable self-worth and so difficult for us to accept what is wonderful about us?
I would like to think that we could stop comparing ourselves to others, accept our unique value and look to others to team up with for balance where that is required. I mean, can you imagine a work team organized where all members are good at one task? They would eventually need to exit the group in search of one or two members who can offer the skills that are required to balance and ultimately achieve the objective!
If we would stop focusing on what we do NOT have and begin to appreciate what we DO have, we could gain the confidence to embrace that and accept the corresponding compliments while at the same time look to others to bring along their talents to accomplish the task at hand, honoring the value others bring. Imagine how that one small idea alone could change your world, quelling thoughts of jealousy or envy while at the very same time allow you to stand up and be grateful for the part you can play.
Then when you are told that the business is changing direction, you can quietly part company, take your self esteem with you and move on toward a suitable alternative. And hopefully, this time, you will have heeded the counsel of ensuring that the next position is your “best fit” in terms of your interests and capabilities….and let’s not forget culture!
Wish you the best with this very critical career point!
About the author, Saleh
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