John Gottman identified relationship barriers as what he referred to as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” These are criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. We recognize these as self-protective mechanisms that, in fact, are guaranteed to destroy our relationship. That’s because they originate in unresolved pain from our past. Instead of being in relationship and…
You’ve sent in your resume for a job you feel you can do and are interested in doing. You were invited for a face-to-face interview. All signs point to you being a “fit” to the corporate culture. So, why did you not get the job? It is essential that you prepare ahead of time for…
We were forced to step back. No matter what we did or how much we enjoyed our work, we were given the gift of time away from what we thought we knew, especially in our work lives. It’s like the world called a time-out. We drew a collective sigh and breath as we took a…
What are the factors that are at work to influence our career choices? Are we conscious of these influencing factors or not? Whether we are consciously aware of the factors that influence our choices in career path selection or not, they are nonetheless present and at work “behind the scenes” of our life, so to…
Blaming looks externally for the source of our discontent. The problem with that is it assumes you are a victim, not in control of your own happiness. With the understanding that you alone are responsible for your happiness, you look to the self as the source. You are empowered with the knowledge that you are…
While blaming ourselves sounds too much like judgment and criticism, asking ourselves to take responsibility allows us to feel a level of control. We should each know and understand the difference, so we can ensure that we are being kind both to ourselves and to all others. Holding ourselves responsible and accountable is a good…
What is happening to us here? We have gone from unearthing the horrors of abuse against women to a global pandemic, mixed with highlights of prejudice against people who are different from us. We have been forced to separate, wear masks that hide our kind signals of acceptance (smiles), and socially stand away from one…
Knowing who we are and what we need is key to understanding what is necessary for our career lives and our personal lives, as well. Spending some time in self-analysis allows us to connect with that authenticity and offers us the perfect opportunity to love ourselves for precisely who we are. It also affords us…
We continue down this road with the value of knowing your personality “type,” and being aware enough to appropriately guess another’s. Why is that important? Knowing your style and motivational needs for a job interview allows you to stay in authentic communication, as you describe how you’re a match in skill, motivation (interests), and culture.…
How do we understand our temperament and what it means in seeking a proper career match? Can it help us to be aware of our needs when it comes to job satisfaction? And what does any of it suggest for my personal happiness? Knowing what motivates us helps us understand our needs and wants. Yes,…